I truly believe that we can run after relationships and people that are no good for us. We will ignore all the signs, all the red lights, potholes, sinkholes, and do not enter signs when on a pursuit to get what we THINK we want.
I once had a crush on a contractor that was fine. I mean fine... He was talking, muscular, olive-colored skin, dark hair, and an accent...fine. I would discretely gaze at him while he was building my house and even mustered up enough confidence to ask him to lunch. There was a language barrier so that endeavor would prove time-consuming and I am a busy woman, so I decided to just let the stars align and wait.
Well one day while I was working on-site, this fine (did I mention he was fine) man crawled into the attic and started nailing the roof. Sweat, hammers flying, I was in heaven. After a while his phone rang, it was who I presumed to be his partner/lover/ wife. She began to speak emotionally about how she loved him and one of them had acted badly and she only wanted him. He then said one sentence and hung up in her face. I could not make out all the words because they were speaking in Spanish. He didn’t know that all though I didn’t use the language much at that time, I was proficient in it years ago. This overheard conversation immediately turned me off to him. He left the phone on speaker because he thought I could not understand and he hung up on her because he could.
Months prior, I met this strapping young king with a degree from Tuskegee, an affinity for fashion, and a smile to make you melt. He too caught my eye, however, I believe I caught his attention too. After he would get off from work, we would sit and talk for hours on the porch; I lived close to his job at the time. One day I could tell I was becoming smitten with him so in true fashion, I pulled away until I could clearly enter the situation. The very next day I witnessed him have a verbal altercation with a woman outside of his job, who I gathered he had been living with and cheating on for years. We stopped conversing shortly thereafter.
I truly believe that we run after relationships and people that are no good for us. However, if we stop and really see people for who they are versus who we desperately want them to be, we would save ourselves much of the unnecessary heartache and pain we endure because of our tendency to ignore what we already know.
Dr. Sheika Square is an author, business strategist, life coach, prolific speaker and executive consultant with more than 13 years’ experience. Affectionately known for her straight-up, no-fluff coaching approach, Dr. Square gives ambitious entrepreneurs the insight and guidance they need to shift from an aspiring entrepreneur or side hustler to a confident and profitable CEO.