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A couple of years ago, I dated a guy that had so much potential. For the life of me, I could not understand why this man, with all this potential, did not have everything he wanted (a family, a house, money, a career, etc…). We dated for 4 years before it ended abruptly, tragically. Even then it took many months for me to gain clarity on why this man, who professed to love me and do anything for me, would disconnect so easily from us and connect so willingly to another. Then I realized my expectations for his life, did not align with the vision he had for his own.


In the relationship, I wanted beauty; he was comfortable with that which was lackluster. I relished in clarity; he thrived in chaos. We were so far away from each other; far away from the center of it all. It still amazes me that we made it through the years. Now, after healing from the break-up, I have so much freedom and peace that I cannot understand why I did not have higher expectations for myself back then; the type of expectations that require reciprocity. Great thing is, now I realize how important it is to see people where they are. I was prone to seeing people for who I wanted them to be. With healing, I realize I can only change myself.

Expectations of others can be a treacherous gateway to disappointment. Having expectations of anyone outside of yourself only places you (and others) at risk of hurt, frustration, and anger. Start focusing on what you can change and leave behind all else. Today be the YOU that lives on purpose!

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